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What every wife wants to hear


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Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's
Christmas Party.  Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't
taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from
the party.  As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something
wrong.  Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing
he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side
table.  And, next to them, a single red rose!

Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed.      He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect
order, spotlessly clean.  So is the rest of the house.  He takes the
aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in
the bathroom mirror.  Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of
the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from
his wife in lipstick: -  "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early
to go get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love
you, darling! Love, Jillian

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast,
steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the
table, eating.

Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind.  You fell
over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway,
and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

Confused he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect
order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting
for me?"

His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and
when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone,
lady, I'm married!"

    Broken Coffee Table - $39.99

    Hot Breakfast - $4.20

    Two Aspirins - $.38

    Saying the right thing, at the right time . . Priceless!!!
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