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This is your Captain speaking!


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Ladies & Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.

Let me urge you to look out the right window, in a few minutes you will see
the Grand Canyon, or the Eiffel Tower or something. Don't look out the left
window. In fact, please pull the window shades on the left hand side of the
airplane closed without looking out.

By the way, we are offering unlimited liquor service to all passengers at no
cost for the remainder of the flight.
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