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Random Jokes


THA_monkey
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In the beginning *** created the heaven and the earth. Then he created Adam, who was a pretty cool guy. One day *** decided it was time to get Adam a mate that would keep him warm on those chilly nights, being as it was that clothes had not yet been invented. *** walks up to Adam and says: "Adam, I have decided to create you a mate."
"Cool," Adam says.
*** goes on, "I shall make for you a woman, she shall cook for you, she will love you for always, she will always be beautiful, she'll never talk back, shell be very smart, in short she'll be perfect. But," says ***, "there is something I must take from you to make her. It will be your sacrifice in gratitude to me".
Adam who has been getting more excited every moment answers "Sure, tell me what you want and I'll give it to you."
"For all of this that I have promised you", *** replies, "you must give me your backbone".
"What?!!" answers Adam. "I can't give you that. Tell you what," Adam continues. "What can I get for a rib?".
=8)
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After returning (with her boyfriend) to her mother's house after a night out, the boyfriend decides he needs the toilet. The young girl, not wanting to awaken hew mother, instructs him to do it in the
sink, so he does so. Five minutes later the boy returns and asks "got any toilet paper?".

Ok, that is enough for me...now you guys do some

(i am not trying to get my posts up... :rolleyes: )
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Couldn't resist it

A bloke was going for an interview at a strip bar but unfortunately got caught in a jam on the underground, When he finally made it to the job he was half an hour late. When he walked into the bar the manager came across and told him that it was lucky, all the other candidates were unsuitable for the position.
The manager showed him the ropes where the things were kept and the finally asked the bloke if he had any questions.
The bloke said i have only one "What if i get any sexual urges when i am working"
The manager replied that's no problem if you go out the back is the bar and into the meadow there is a barrel with a hole in it all you have to do is put you thing into the hole and your problem will suddenly go.
The bloke was quite impressed and accepted the job but just as he was about to leave the manager said " Their is one condition with this job you cannot use the barrel on Mondays and Fridays"
The bloke replied why, and the manager said "That is when you are in the barrel".

=8)
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